Friday, March 28, 2008

Secretly Admiring and Admired

How I wish things can be different. How I wish he had been daring enough to make the move earlier. How I wish situation is different. I guess I can wish all I want but situation will not change. I am no longer available. I will be someone wife soon and he is too late to do anything about it. But maybe it is for the best. After all, it has been more than ayear and if guy that cant reach out and get what he wants, might not be someone that is worth taking chances with right? Only my babe is true. After all, he is the one that went through thick and thin with me for the last eight years plus.

Don't get me wrong, I love my babe very much or else I wont be overcome with joy when he proposed. I know he love me very much too and this is the reason that I can trust him totally when he decided to go to KL to work. I want to spend the rest of my life with my babe. I want to share every joy and happiness with him. People say that when you can see yourself having children together and smile at the idea of the kids calling him daddy, then you are hooked to him! And I can see him carrying out daughter/son in his arms, failing asleep together with the baby on his chest. I remember thinking to myself, gosh, 30-40 years in the future together, is that enough?

But can a gal that will be marrying someone soon still have crushes on someone another guy? I mean just harmless admiring from afar. Well, maybe not so afar since we still meet and chit chat because of our responsibilities. I guess I am just asking for trouble for entertaining this kind of thoughts. After all, nothing can come out of it. Even if he did make his move now, it is too late. This kinda remind me of the song by Michael Learns to Rock! hahaha..

Aiyaiyai, this is getting too dangerous. Must stop this! Stupid stupid chi sin crazy idiotic me! ARRGGH!!! I need coffee! I am not thinking rationally without coffee. Cant even make proper sense of what I am talking about. So tempted to delete this whole posting! Nothing can come out of this ....right? GGRRR..someone SLAP ME!!!!!!


Rose said...

I think it is normal for u to admire someone else although u not longer available! No harm. Psst, I do admiring other men, just admiring only ok!! Nothing done and nothing happen! Hahaha!

Jen's Place said...

hahaha..I feel much better after u said that. But the problem is, the guy only just found out I am not longer available and only seem to start to get kam chiong and wanted to be closer....

Prim3 said...

LOL.. u better stop it early to avoid any potential damage to your life.. :P

btw, ur babe in KL.. but u're in? Kch?

Jen's Place said...

Hi Prim3,
Yeah, I am stopping it:P

And yeah again, babe in KL, me in Kch...but I am gona go to KL in abt a week to start working there too..

Nick Phillips said...

I guess it's not wrong admiring someone but i think that's like playing with fire a little bit. It's best you don't get all that close. But like you said, you're heading to KL soon, so I guess no harm will come out of it ... LOL!

Jen's Place said...

Fire burns even just abit especially if the fire is those bright blue almost invisible kind. So, conclusion, STAY AWAY from fire! hahaha

Billy's Mom said...

Hi Jen,
Yup, stay away from the little fire as it can get bigger and damaging. :-))

Jen's Place said...

Hi Billy's mom,
Not gona be hard to stay away because I sayang my babe and also because I am gona be working in KL next Tues! So, no more unwanted opportunities..hehe