How I wish things can be different. How I wish he had been daring enough to make the move earlier. How I wish situation is different. I guess I can wish all I want but situation will not change. I am no longer available. I will be someone wife soon and he is too late to do anything about it. But maybe it is for the best. After all, it has been more than ayear and if guy that cant reach out and get what he wants, might not be someone that is worth taking chances with right? Only my babe is true. After all, he is the one that went through thick and thin with me for the last eight years plus.
Don't get me wrong, I love my babe very much or else I wont be overcome with joy when he proposed. I know he love me very much too and this is the reason that I can trust him totally when he decided to go to KL to work. I want to spend the rest of my life with my babe. I want to share every joy and happiness with him. People say that when you can see yourself having children together and smile at the idea of the kids calling him daddy, then you are hooked to him! And I can see him carrying out daughter/son in his arms, failing asleep together with the baby on his chest. I remember thinking to myself, gosh, 30-40 years in the future together, is that enough?
But can a gal that will be marrying someone soon still have crushes on someone another guy? I mean just harmless admiring from afar. Well, maybe not so afar since we still meet and chit chat because of our responsibilities. I guess I am just asking for trouble for entertaining this kind of thoughts. After all, nothing can come out of it. Even if he did make his move now, it is too late. This kinda remind me of the song by Michael Learns to Rock! hahaha..
Aiyaiyai, this is getting too dangerous. Must stop this! Stupid stupid chi sin crazy idiotic me! ARRGGH!!! I need coffee! I am not thinking rationally without coffee. Cant even make proper sense of what I am talking about. So tempted to delete this whole posting! Nothing can come out of this ....right? GGRRR..someone SLAP ME!!!!!!