Nov 17, 2007, the nation is in shock. The news of a 12-year-old committing suicide. Found by her sister with her hanging by the throat with a blanket from the window grill. It is unimaginable to me how can a 12 year old decides to take her own life. I mean, when I was that age, all I know was that I will be sitting for my UPSR and going to start to go to secondary schools, wear those light blue and white uniform. What in the world is going through the little girl's mind which push her over the edge.
A little girl that just received her UPSR results the day before. She was expecting to get at least 4As but instead, when the results were out, she was devastated, according to the father because she only obtained 4Bs, 2Cs and 1D. The father when asked by the reporters, informed them that he has not scolded her. Instead, he told her that he was proud of her and asked to try harder next year. He said he even promised her daughter that he will give him a gold ring for every As that she obtain in the future. Then if it is not family pressure, what indeed has made her decided to tie a blanket around her neck and jump out of a window, hanging herself, ending her life?
I guess I will never be able to contemplate how someone so young can choose to end her life. How does life become so bleak that it seems like there is not alternatives? Actually, to me, no matter how hard a situation is, there is always a silver lining to it. There is always something positive on the other side of the coin. I know, sometimes it might seems easier said than done especially when in a the moment of crisis, depression, pain and anger.
I believe everyone have experience some kind of hardship one way or another and I mean everyone. I can still remember when I was in my previous company, first 3 years was beautiful because I was working for a most understanding and fantastic lady boss that really care for me. That being my first job and all, everything was just rosy. I enjoyed my work as the program officer, dealing with kids (bluek! All students are kids to me eventhough sometimes the matured students are actually my age or older! haha). I love the kids and truly care about them and it is rewarding when they shows their appreciation.
Things were so fantastic that I decided to continue with my education on a part-time basis and obtained my masters. And then, that is when things started to go down hill. I was given the opportunity to transfer to another position for a much more challenging post. And believe me, although it was a tough decision (as all change are), I was excited too at the prospect of doing something totally new. Little did I know, what a mental torture it will be and how physically stressing it can be. The only good thing that came out of the two years was me losing weight without much effort.
But that kind of weight lost was indeed dangerous because by the end of one and half year, I was suffering hypertension due to stress. The stress caused not by the heavy duty job schedule and requirement, but rather, because of my new boss. He actually moved me to five different departments within the two years. The reason? Well, it was not because I was insubordinate or not doing my work. According to him, he thinks that I have the knack to move into a messed up department and clean it up. So, he decided the moment I got cosy and happy on my chair, he will move me!
The last position that I held before resigning was as one of Head of Department. Again stupid me accepted this extra responsibility without any additional benefits. Yeap, no increment for the promotion. Just a miserable allowance of RM200 per month. The thing that finally pushed me over the edge was when he scolded me for no apparent reason after a management meeting. I think he must be power crazy and abuse whoever that he can especially young naive eager to please Head of Department reporting to him. Those two years were really hell on earth.
By then, I was phobic to anything related to education industry as well as being the person leading a group of people. I was so demotivated that I want to do it to do simple stress free job which allows me to deal with customers. But looking back, I realised that the experience actually made me stronger. I was able to think fast on my feet for out-of-box solution and on top of that, improved my customer service skills. It also helped me to decide that I want to make customer service my profession. So, there are silver lining after all in this.
I guess what I want to say is that, when a situation seems really bad, stand back, think for awhile. And remember the 10/90 rule, ie. in most situation, there is only 10% that we can control, the other 90% is beyond our control. So, if this is the case, might as well worry and work hard to improve the 10% that we can control and let the 90% of other things pass. Because like all things, this too will pass.