Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Sunset, Sunrise & Mom

I love sunset and sunrise but this picture is making me feel melancholic and missing my babe very much. Especially with Valentine's Day around the corner, making me miss him even more. I know, we should cherish each other and show each other that we care everyday and not only on Valentine. But like all special occasions, it is nice to have the person that you love next to you right? Which is why it is good that I received the job offer to start work in KL in Apr.

But to be frank, I am having second thoughts about relocating. (Dont worry, I doubt I will change my mind.) The reason that I am having second thoughts is because of what I know will happen and also of course of the unknown. Throughout the day, I keep on imagining what my dad and especially my mom will say when I tell them. Actually, I was thinking of being the coward and just tell my bro and dad. Then get them to tell mom because I know either:
1. When dad & bro tell mom, mom will immediately call me wherever I am in disbelieve that I will abandon her (in her mind that is what it is) and start to scream at me over the phone. I always have the image that this will happen while I am at work.
OR
2. I am at home, we tell mom together, mom still get hysterical and say I abandon the family and we have a big fight (tsk tsk, I really must learn to control my temper) and then I will walk out of the house and stay with my aunt (dad's sis).
OR
3. We tell mom, mom rant and rave for days (with dad having a screaming match) even until the day I am suppose to leave for KL. And then mom start to call me everyday at all hours telling me dramatic stories such as your sister is sick, when are you coming back?

Having a very big headache just thinking about what could happen and trying to decide which is worse. Perhaps it is hard for most of you to believe that this is what I believe is going to happen but considering the alternative if I am to tell her myself, trust me, the above scenario are much favorable. Even my friends that knows me for years will tell me that the scene I described is impossible. Surely mom wont be so dramatic until it is almost like watching one of those Taiwan drama series. Sincerely, I dont know what her reaction will be. I am contemplating plotting with my bro & dad and lie to her outright, saying that the company sending me to KL for one year training. And then after she get used to me being away from her nest, then I will say I found new job in KL. Yes, people, I am a coward when it come to telling my parents about making my own decisions. ( I feel like swearing but I will refrain myself...)

Ggggrrr....why cant I be one of those that just have to worry about getting my butt to KL and finding a place to stay and become independent. Instead, I am worried about how to tell my parents about my decision to move to relocate across the South China Sea. A 31 year old woman scared to tell her parents what she have decided. Aint that pathetic?

I am not worried at all about telling my boss my decision. In fact, I look forward to seeing her face when she find out. My colleagues jokingly mentioned that I should give her the letter in front of them so that they can see her face when she knows what it is about. But i dont believe in burning bridges in case you need to cross them again in the future. So, I will be nice and give constructive suggestions during the exit interview. Something about 4 very capable and highly motivated team under someone that is fully capable to do the work of a subordinate but not to lead.

I am also looking forward to being independent and having a place of our own, babe and mine. It wont be an easy life of course but I know we will have fun all the same. I hope I am not making you guys feeling melancholic too with this posting. Just need some place to destress and release all this penned up tension that I am feeling inside of me. I think I am not even having real proper sleep. Woke up this morning feeling like I was electrified by aliens while I was asleep. The whole body feel like it is on tight wrigger and is ready to snap at the lightest touch or provocation. Come to think of it, been feeling this way since the last few mornings since I know I am being offered the job and I am taking them.

Sigh..cant wait for all this to be over and done with!

7 comments:

Aidan's Mama & Papa said...

hi jen! hope you had a good cny! moving away is a huge step. any change is a huge step. but if its a change for the better, than i'm sure it'll work its way for the best.

i suppose all will take time and before you know it, done. been there, done that! take it easy and all the best of luck!

Zaza

Aidan's Mama & Papa said...

p.s: oh, i hate ironing too!! way too boring! ;)

Zaza

Jen's Place said...

Zaza,
thanks for visiting me! Your kid's so cute!! Can I hug hug n hold tight??hehehe

yah, I know u r rite. It is a huge step but it is something that I want to do for myself and for change think of myself and not just my parents. Am I being selfish?

Sigh..the getting over part is a torture though...

Nick Phillips said...

Jen, I sympathize with your predicament. On one hand I think they should let you go but on the other, maybe they think you'd forget them if you went far away.

That's the way the older generation parents behave I think. But in my humble opinion, do what YOU want to do. That's what matters!

Hope you get through this.

Jen's Place said...

nick,
hehe..i like your last sentence, "Hope you get through this". I will get thru this but in how many pieces, that is entirely another matter. Guess I just have to thicken my face and face the music.

Yah, I think that is what it is too, that I will forget them. Guess that is my fault too because when I am on vacation, I will call time maybe once or twice during the entire holiday. Another new year resolution for me then, to keep in touch with my parents by calling them at least once a day!

RaiNboW said...

haha.. Jen, my advise, once your decision is make, dun have second thought liaw.. it's a decision that u make after thinking for very long and very deep rite?
And dun lie to your parents. It's not good. Just tell them the truth. In the end all will turn out well. Don't worry.

Good luck too for your new journey. =)

Jen's Place said...

Rainbow dear^_^
Yah I know....And yes, it was after thinking very very carefully. And I was only joking about the lie part (I think..hahaha). Honestly is always the best no matter what, that is what I believe.
Wei..gona miss u guys lar u know!!