Thursday, January 17, 2008

Secret to Long Interesting Relationship

wow!! Today is one of the busiest day since a few weeks ago. Everything seems to come at one time. The moment I sat down at my desk till the time that I leave. It seems that they have some six sense that I will be going away to have fun for one whole week. Well ok, so Monday & Tuesday will not be fun since I have to attend the training from 8am - 5pm. But it will still be away from the office for the WHOLE WEEK!! Hahaha... (eh, if you are my colleagues and you are reading this, dont be jealous yah! haha)

Anyway, I was feeling very tired, stressed and extremely blur when I suddenly receive an internet message asking me " What makes you sayang your babe so much?". And I go, HAH???? hahaha...I seriously do not know what or how to reply that. I mean, I do know how to explain to the colleague the reason I sayang my babe so much? I know, I know.. I should say because I love him without condition and reason. But at the time I can hardly put my thoughts into word in a concise and rational manner! Then at the end, I realised that what she is asking is what is the secret to the long lasting relationship that my babe & I have.

To this, I was finally able to answer. To me, it is really simple actually. If you sit back & think, the secret is actually no secret at all. For me there are only 3 things and they are Humor, Acceptance, Love and Forgiveness. This, if you notice, the first letter of each word will make the word HALF and this is important because in a relationship, you are actually half of the partnership.

Why humor? If you look around you, the couples that tease each other lovingly are the ones that have the most fun! Imagine being lovey-dovey and just saying sweet nothings all the time. I mean, of course this will be very intense at the beginning and all that you want to do is tell each other that you love each other. But after a few years, it will be very boring if the daily conversation goes like this:

Babe: My darling, you are the most beautiful today.
JenJen: Oh Babe, you are so sweet.
Babe: I want to live the rest of my life with you.
JenJen: I want to live the rest of my life with you too.
Babe: My heart my soul.
JenJen: bla bla bla bla..
Babe: bla bla bla.. you know what I mean? Thank god my babe and I always enjoy teasing each other. With him in KL and me in Kuching, basically the relationship is based on phone calls and video calls. And if we talk like I portray above, I think pretty soon, one of us will say that it is not working out. It is simply too boring! So, one of the important element in a good lasting interesting relationship is humor.

Then it is acceptance. I think if you have read the previous post about what is love, you will know that what I am going to say is not something that is foreign. How many times you hear the phrase 'Love is Blind'. And the general intepretation of this is that no matter what the other person do, you are blind to it. Actually, to me, my personal intepretation of the phrase is that love makes us pretend to be blind to the faults of our love ones. When we are in love, we tend to IGNORE instead of accepting the faults of our darlings. And believe me you that one day, he or she will wake up wondering who is this person that is sleeping next to me.

Love, I think I do not have to illustrate to much about this. Initially, you fall in love with someone but when you start to mellow out and perhaps is no longer falling, then you need to feel love to sustain the relationship. I dont mean the type of love that makes you feel like fainting everytime he/she hold your hands or worse, talk to you (not sure how you wana survive thru that!:P) but rather the type of love that makes you willing to sacrifice yourself just so that he/she do not have to feel pain. I always tell galfriends that ask me whether a guy that is courting them is right for her, I will ask this, Imagine waking up to go to work the next day and never see the guy again. What is your feeling? Usually soon after that, they become serious with each other or go their separate ways. (hahaha.. now I really sound like a love consultant).

Forgiveness to me is another important factor in any relationship. I heard from someone somewhere that NO ONE IS PERFECT. No matter how much we want to put our darling on the altar and treat him/her like God, the truth is, he/she is just human. They will make lots of mistakes and you might find out about some of them or then, you might not (yah, trust me, you rather not know! haha). The bottomline is, grieviences & relationship does not go together at all. It is better to forgive and forget. It makes life much easier and more pleasant. Anyway, anger will give you wrinkles too! hahaha..

Now, I am not saying that you should bend backward and let your darling do whatever he/she want. A relationship should never never based on abuse of any kind, be it physical or psychological. So, if you are in a relationship that seems to go no where, have the gut to take that step and leave. One last word from loso talkative me, cherish the one that you love. Never take things for granted. Anything can happen at anytime and you might suddenly lost the person that you love and find that it is too late to tell him/her how you feel.

No comments: