Monday, April 6, 2009

Alternatives....

I know, I been missing for almost a week from the blog. Recently, with the depressing feeling I feel at work, just didnt feel like blogging much. No point in making every1 feeling down too by reading what I have to say about things that I do not think I have control over. Actually, last Friday morning, I was determined to have a chat with him to clear all this things that is hovering over my head. Based on advise I got from my colleagues, this seems to be the only way to go if I want to continue working productively.

Had actually decided that after lunch, I will invite him for the chat. But then, I somehow chickened out. I realised that I am not the most confrontational person that I used to be. He has changed me and caused my self-confidence to drop to the bottom of the ocean. So, before I can actually confront him, I need to gather my inner strength and talk to myself first. I need to bolster my self-confidence and self-worth that has been destroyed by him, intentionally or unintentionally by him. For now, I can only visualise the day that I hand in my special letter...

I guess I pretty much decided that the alternative would be to find alternative. When 2nd and 3rd chances were given to change and things revert back to the same again, then I think it is pretty much time to give up and look for greener pasture. Hopefully, the pasture is really greener on the other side of the fence but I will take this as a learning experience. Something to add to my list of portfolio and resume. Something that I hope I can take to my next level of opportunity.

Damn! I seriously pray the day will come soon!

2 comments:

Rose said...

Wow! this sound serious! Yeah, if really that bad, alternatively would be look for other alternative. All the best, Jen.

JenJen's Place said...

Hi Rose,
Yar, pretty serious about this. But am feeling much more relieved after having the self-chat during the weekend and made up my mind :)