This is what my daily horoscope said yesterday:
Things seem to be going your way, Jen! In this case, your first reaction is euphoria, followed quickly by concern. Why is succeeding so easy? There must be a catch! You'll be under the influence of the second phase today, which suggests that now that you've had a little taste of success, you should organize yourself to obtain a steady diet of it..
Influence of the second phase yesterday? I don't know if I have created a chain reaction but there was definitely something going on here that I believed was caused by me. A bomb that previously exploding silently is finally now exploding rather loudly and not only once. Or perhaps it is the after effect of the loud bomb which finally have a impact? Oh well, whatever it is, I hope that it will be for the benefit of my friends and not backfire on them. I am actually worried what the outcome of the multiple bomb explosion will caused. However, what is done is done and there is nothing that can be do to undo them.
Gosh, I am sounding very philosophical today. I know some might not understand what I am talking about and will simply skip the above paragraph or the entire posting. But for those that understand, it was never my intention to cause anyone harm by telling the truth. Rather, I hoped that at least before I leave, I am able to leave a legacy behind or at least help you all out of this unhealthy environment. I can still remember the time that we were in our old office. Although we have plenty to do, we had fun doing them because we know that our boss trust us to do what we need to do.
I don't know about others but I have always believe in democratic style of management. I rather my boss tell me exactly what he need me to do and leave me to do it. At the same time, knowing that if there is any issue or concern, I can always approach him and ask questions or for help. To me, this is what you call trust. We are all not young fresh graduates that need guidance all the way. Each and everyone of us have at least 5 years working experience. So, we do not need someone to check on what we do constantly. We are responsible and professional working adults that is able to judge for ourselves when we should start to escalate any problems.
Even fresh graduate have brain to think and prefer to be trusted than have each and everything done being scrutinized and checked in detail. What is the point of assigning and delegating the work and then proceed to go behind our back and request others to change our request? What is the point? To me, either that is showing that there is no trust in my ability to complete the project assigned or no respect for me at all. In this case, might as well no need to give to me the projects.
I have also always believe that everyone have some good in them and something that they are good at. I mean, try putting yourself in someone shoes and you might be able to emphatise with the person and understand why he/she did what he/she done. However, after more than one year of trying really hard to do this, I seriously decided that I finally meet someone that I totally unable to emphatise with and totally unable to understand. I might be prejudice in this and I might be wrong but if so many other people have similar opinion, doesn't this mean that it is right?
How to feel happy working in an office that when we are get shush just because we were loud because excited occasionally? Or being told that I am very loud and rude in the middle of discussion just because I talked more animated and excited? I sincerely hope that the situation will change eventhough I am not here for long. I got this feeling the situation will be almost like hell before I leave because of the chain reaction that I have caused. Oh well, no point crying over spilled milk...