When I was in my late teens and 20s, I would say that I am a dare devil. I would try anything and everything without giving much regards to the consequences. Well, maybe that is not true, I do give regards to the consequences, for about perhaps ten minutes and proceed to do it anyways. In those days, it is as if I am invisible and nothing could harm me. And if something did harm me, I have the regenerating power and am very sure that I am able to bounce right back on my feet. Of course, those are the naive thinking that I believe most of us gone through in one stage or other stage of our lives.
As for me, the dare-devil-syndrome disappear silently without me realising it until I actually caught myself thinking about alot of what-ifs. For example, when listening to accidents reports on the radio on the way to work, the mention of motorcycle related accidents will make me send a prayer to heaven to keep babe safe. Kinda silly since I know that babe is a careful driver but then, those things cannot be predicted! Or if I do not get calls from my mom for a few days, I will start to worry and wonder if something happened. And if I do get calls from her at odd time, before I pick up the call, my heart will skip a beat and wonder if something has gone wrong.
I am not sure when all this what-ifs syndrome started. It seems to creep up on me slowly but surely. I don't even drive that fast anymore eventhough with the highways in KL, it is perfect place to let go and zoom all over the place. Instead, I will usually keep to about 100-120kmph at the most. For Kuching friends, just give you an idea how slow that is, those in KL will honked me if I drive like that on the most outer lane on the highway! Although I know my car is able to handle the speed and corners, I am just not comfortable driving at maniac speed whereby if I need to do emergency braking, then the car might slide or skid or worse, turn over.
See what I mean? My imagination is going wild again. When I was younger, my parents will always nagged at me and tell me to be careful and of course, for being a rebellious teenager, most of the time I will say "OK" and then proceed to do it anyways. I actually promised myself that I will not be this way with my future kids but of course, now that I am the grown up, I think I will be a nagger to my kids too! Well, at least I am better than babe! He was going to lock up the daughters in the house and no going out late at nights until they get married~!
Of course, I just had to asked him how about his sons? He said, sons are ok to do whatever they want as long as it is not against the law. After they finish their form 5, they can go out and come back at any time they want. Talk about being unfair huh? But I know where he is getting at especially with the society being so crazy nowadays. Imagine how scary it is when a snatch thief can jump over the fence of the house, tackle a old lady watering the plant in the garden to the ground and proceed to snatch her gold necklace off her and run off? Yup, that happened in Kuching, a supposedly peaceful place to retire to.
I heard that it has not gotten much better since I moved here. My parents are even seriously thinking about installing alarm and CCTV. I told them to install an auto-gate as well so that they dont have to get out of the car to open the gate. Only need to get out of the car when they are in the house with the gate firmly closed. Mom & Dad sounds reluctant and feels that the alarm and CCTV is sufficient. Thank god we moved to a place that is not consider high class or else I would have been more worried with the thieves targeting bungalows in high end areas.
I just hoped that when babe & I get our own place, we will be able to find somewhere that is relatively peaceful, low density and safe. Right now, looking at Subang, Kelana and Sri Damansara area. Still looking and not sure yet since the price are all beyond our budget of not more than RM700. Some looks promising in price but the location is not very convenient to get to LDP or NKVE for both of us to get to work. So, still sourcing. Hopefully can move by July or Aug the latest....
Yeah, this world is fast becoming an unsafe place to live in ... and that contributes the worries we always feel. I do hope you find a nice and safe place soon, Jen.
ReplyDeleteNick,
ReplyDeleteI hope so too or else I think I will 'die' from being kek si (ermm..not sure how to translate this but direct translation is frustrated to death) by someone....
I wont say much since I promised not to bad mouth someone in public places such as my blog but I am not sure how long I can last and keep my promise!